Megaman X 5 Alternate endings
by Kidbond
Summary: A little collection of fake endings I made up for Megaman X5. PG13 for violence and small drug references and a little suggestive theme at the end... R&R if you terribly wish to.


Ending #1: The Argument  
Zero: X... fight... me....  
X: WTF? Zero, did you take your ritalin?  
Zero: What? I'm a friggin robot I can't take ritalin!  
X: Shut up you stupid bastard, you've been taking it since you created, stop making excuses.  
Zero: Well I was busy! You were to lazy to go kill Duff McWhalen so I had to go, and what the hell were you doing in Alia's room??  
X: ... uh... playing checkers?  
Zero: Hmph, I do all the work, and get crummy little sword techs, and you get all the cool weapons...  
X: That's because Dr. Light ownz and your creator was just a crackhead that had to many diet sodas while he tried to invent a automatic blender and you came out.  
Zero: Yeah, well... DR. LIGHT IS FAT!  
X: OH YEAH!?! You smell!  
Zero: Shut up! I'm 10x more powerful than you, and everybody likes me more so there! *sticks out his tounge*  
X: Then why is this entire series named after me red boy? *charges his buster*  
Zero: Because everybody plays as me anyway, that had to shove you in somewhere *chops X's head off with Z saber* Well that was quick.  
X: ... dammit  
  
Ending #2: Screw This  
  
Zero: X... fight... me....  
X: What? Fine, I accept... you know what screw this, I've been through 4 other games of shooting the hell out of robots and I've had enough now.  
Zero: Yeah you're right.  
X: Wanna play poker?  
Zero: Sure.  
*Game commences*  
Zero: Um, X it's been a while since I've played cards, what is it when you have a 10 J, Q, K, and A all with that little black upsidedown heart looking thing with the stem coming out?  
X: DAMMIT, I fold! *storms off*  
Zero: Uh, is that good?  
  
Ending #3: Psychadelic!  
  
Zero: Whoah, why am I all glowy like this?  
X: Zero!! Have you been drinking vodka again?  
Zero: NO! I just had a swig of this stuff with these little L, S, and D symbols on it and... OH MY GOD X LOOK OUT, PURPLE KANGAROOS AND MONKEYS ARE THROWING CHEESE AT YOU!  
X: *slapping his forehead* I KNEW we shouldn't have given him top acces at Hunter Base.  
Zero: Whoah, it looks like a Jefferson Airplane music video from the 70s.  
X: ...  
Zero: Wow, I didn't even know there was a color like that!  
X: Why me...  
Zero: Whoah... I can't see... *drops dead*  
X: ... That must be some strong shit... *takes bottle out of Zero's storage and examines it. Shrugs shoulders and downs it.* ... Mommy? *faints*  
  
Ending #4: I don't want to go!  
  
Douglas: Let me know when you've taken care of the pilot problem.  
X: ... Zero you go.  
Zero: What?? I don't want to get blown up!  
X: It's for the sake of humanity.  
Zero: Screw humanity! Let them die! We saved them before, it's about time they got off their lazy asses and saved their own friggin lives!  
X: Good point. ... But too bad you're going anyway.  
Zero: What!?  
X: You've been hogging the spotlight too long, It's about time I got some credit.  
Zero: You had 12 games alone! The whole series is named after you! What more do you want!  
X: I want my dog back. Rush didn't complain. He also didn't eat everything out of the fridge and leave the TV on all night.  
Zero: ...  
X: Or run up the phone bill.  
*Zero is dragged kicking and screaming by the entire hunter staff and shoved into the shuttle*  
Zero: What the hell! I'm the strongest one here!  
*They say nothing and launch the shuttle watching Zero's face pressed against the window.*  
Signas: What in the? The shuttles turning around, he's hitting us instead!  
X: Well then I'll just hit this little button. *He activates defense system and Zero is blown to hell*  
Zero's Remains: Ow... dammit.  
  
Ending #5: This Maverick Business...  
  
Beginning of game.  
X: You know what, I'm fed up with being a little goody two shoes Hunter. Do you know if they need any more Mavericks?  
Zero: I'd gladly join up with you but... uh, well, I think there are some prerequisites...  
X: Like what?  
Zero: Like being infected with Sigma.  
X: Well you have it, can't you give it to me?  
Zero: Er... yes and no.  
X: What do you mean...  
Zero: Well... Sigma is an STD.  
X: o.O No way!  
Zero: so what are we gonna do?  
*Alia walks by*  
Zero & X: *devious smiles* Oh AAAAAlia!  
Alia: What... why are you guys looking at me like that... Guys...  



End file.
